Today, I would like to introduce my FIRST Super Twin Mom of the month: Suzie Lothschutz! Let me first start with how I met Suzie, we were selected as part of a team to run a special project together for our company, we were two of 9 and we instantly clicked! Two women, two completely different walks of life, from two opposite sides of the country, but our life began to match up effortlessly: we had similar professional backgrounds, we were BOTH single twin moms, our twins father’s even had the SAME name- where they do that?!?! We were two women, 17 years apart on a very similar journey through life and willing to assist one another to be better women, professionals and MOMS!
I have learned many things from this woman and I truly admire her, I was sincerely honored that she was willing to let me interview her. Without further delay, I had the opportunity to interview Suzie specifically about Twin motherhood, as we talked she told me that it was very introspective and things she never really thought of out loud.
Tell me about yourself… name? twins?
“Really? Like you don’t know me! Lol, I’m a 48 year old professional, single mother of 3 boys: Ryan 15, Twins: 12 (Ethan & Carter) – I work and I am a mom!”
When you’re not on full mommy duty, what do you like to do?
“I love to travel, I love to go to the movies and do projects around my house like painting, making decor items, yard work, I’m always organizing (any mental downtime is my favorite!)… I have a new house so there are not a lot of projects, but I do enjoy the basics I haven’t done since I moved in… I also enjoy concerts, traveling, sailing!”
What is the best thing about being a twin mommy?
“There are a couple of really awesome things: having two humans that are the exact same age, but they are complete opposites! With them being the same age, you expect them to be similar, but they aren’t! They are challenging in different ways and they are BEST FRIENDS and truly connected no matter how different their personalities are.”
What is the hardest thing about being a twin mom?
“Having enough time to yourself, but that was more difficult when they were babies. It got easier later, compared to two infants that you had to do everything for! I also want to go back to the fact that as beautiful as it is, you have to parent in completely different ways, even though they are the same age. With boys, you assume that they both want something: they both play baseball & basketball – they are the same sex so you do the same thing; but now Ethan expresses interest in other things! This is what makes things so complicated, especially as a single mom: how do you both? If they were different ages, it would make more since, but with twins, its tough to make the right decision.”
What was your reaction when you found out you were having twins?
“Well, we went through in vitro, so I knew it was a possibility, my initial reaction was ‘Oh My Gosh!’ When I went to the doctor I actually thought I was miscarrying, they said ‘good news bad news: you lost a baby, but you are still pregnant’ – then they did an ultrasound and said come back in a week, one week later I found out there were two! I remember the ultrasound and seeing the heartbeats side by side and it was amazing, a bitter sweet thing. I really started with 3, and now there is two – so it was a ton of emotion! A little afraid too, how is my body even going to stretch to fit two people??? Once I got over the initial shock, I told my whole family!”
Please give any advice that you’d like to share with twin moms (or any mom) out there at any stage…
“I always kept telling myself, just because someone else was doing it, that doesn’t mean that is how you should do it; especially, when it comes to your body, do what is best for you! I wanted to nurse, I wanted them to sleep in the same bed or same room, but I didn’t hold myself to these thing or say: you are not successful if these things do not happen! I allowed my boys and the situation to make the decision to do what was best for our family. I didn’t want ‘Mary’ in the twins group to tell me what to do: my kids wake up when they are in the same bed, so I don’t get any sleep, so they won’t be in the same bed! Women (mothers) put so many rules on each other , especially for twins, but you have to do what is best for YOU and your family.
Scheduling: “I always woke them up at the same time, forcing them into a schedule early, it worked best for me.”
10 year+ old twins advice: “remember that they are different, it gets overwhelming at times, you have to be patience and willing to flex. (I need to take my own advice, I am not good at that either!) It does get easier, I don’t think it ever will be EASY and you should be prepared that it is hard work.”
“These are deep questions, I never like thought about it, out loud. There is no right way, whatever is right for you and your family situation. People read so many books and see someone else that is doing it “perfectly” but I guarantee that she’s pulling her hair out in the closet somewhere. As a single mom of twins, I have been in my closet crying lots and lots of time, the more real everyone can be about that, the better- we all have those moments!”
Having twins is such a blessing, its the most beautiful thing ever, I feel incredibly blessed that I had the opportunity to GIVE BIRTH to twins, the whole experience is just AMAZING – We are kick ass women!
It was an absolute pleasure to interview Suzie, her honesty and willingness to share absolutely helped me in my ongoing parenting journey, I hope it helped you as well. Suzie is absolutely a Super Twin Mom! Make sure to comment below on Suzie’s story: how can you relate?