I get so excited when I think about the amazing plans I have for my business, for my life, for my children… I just want to be a HAPPY, I want them to be HAPPY and I think my view of happiness is probably different from others, and that’s okay!
I recently realized that my seemingly “Instagram perfect” life was in reality just a combination of the “Safe” choices I took EVERY step of the way. I remember when I was in college, I originally went for Athletic Training, but I thought the athletes had “D1 Attitudes” (they did, but still) so I took on a new major: Emergency Medicine. This was a very intense major, however, what most people probably don’t realize is that the pre-requisites were the exact same for Emergency Medicine as they were for Athletic Training – this was my “Safe” way of changing my major without risking my parents having to pay for an extra semester or year of college.
After completing my junior year, which was paramedic school, I was completely against medicine!! However, there was no way in hell that I could change my major (again) at the beginning of my senior year, I’d never graduate!! Instead, I looked through the course catalog and found out that I could specialize in business just by taking 2 business classes (not changing my major) and if I took one more sociology class I could have a certificate in Sociology! Bet! Done! “Safe!” Now that I had some business something on my resume, I applied to work for Pepsi, 1 out of 1,000 applicants from PITT – they hired ME! No shit?!?!! Reality though, it was the only place I interviewed, they offered, I could have a job straight out of college, bet! No – “Safe!” The reality is all of my “career moves” were things I thought the people around me would approve of (mainly my parents), and it defiantly helped when my friends would cise me because I got a job or this promotion or that promotion.
I was dedicated, dedicated to making the “safe” moves for my life, for my career, so someone could pat me on the back; but was I happy? Sure! For outsiders looking in, “I had it all!” For me, I constantly struggled – “is this what I want to do?” I wasn’t sure that it was, but I was also very concerned with what others would think if I didn’t uphold my “Safe!” lifestyle… Then, I got pregnant, shit! This was sooo NOT SAFE, this wasn’t “part of the plan” – “My mother is going to KILL ME!!! ” I had been playing it safe my entire life until this point, and if I’m honest, I was VERY close to play the safe card again, and get an abortion. I mean I was 25, I still had my whole life to live, what did I look like having a BABY?!? I’m the FUN AUNT, not the MAMMA!!
Then I started thinking about it, I started PRAYING about it, and I also found out I was having TWINS! Yes, I was 25 & single, but I was also 25 with a good job and decent income. I decided to keep them, I remember slowly telling people that I was expecting (probably not as slow as I would’ve liked but I did have two whole humans growing in me – I was BIG – FAST!). Then, people started saying the WILDEST things to me (unsolicited): “so can you like abort one and keep the other?” “Why would you do that to yourself, you’ll never have a man!” “I taught you better than this!” “You’re going to regret that!” – through it all, I just kept praying, praying for peace, praying for comfort, praying for strength to get through. Then God showed up and showed OUT!! He gave me peace that surpassed all understanding, when people would ask me questions about my decisions, my answers became “this is God’s will for my life.” I was so strong and so confident and I didn’t even truly understand where my strength came from. I knew I was following God’s will for my life, but I would speak and not even realize what I was saying because I was so deeply connected to Him. – and you know what?!? A lot of those same people have apologized over the years because they knew that I had made the right decision!
I say all that to say, right now I’m making more decisions, very similar to the one I made a little over 5 years ago! (No, I’m NOT expecting!) There is some serious shit going down and a lot of people that simply don’t understand my perspective, but there are also a lot of people that do. I’ve learned that in tough times, I have to stay focussed on God, stay routed in prayer! This will help me make my decisions, but it also brings out the haters and the naysayers! “Why is she blogging- again?!?” “What kind of business is she starting now?” “Stop doing the extra stuff and focus on your real job” “maybe if you didn’t have so much going on you wouldn’t be as stressed.” — Yes! People SAY this to me, to my friends, to my family, ABOUT ME!! Guess what, that’s okay!!
I’m going places that everyone can’t go with me, and I’m so happy just thinking about that! I was talking to one of my girlfriends the other day and she told me “Right before amazing things happen, things usually seem to crumble all apart, but when they’re put back together they’re so much better than you could have even imagined …Imma just get my popcorn and a good seat so I can watch lol” – y’all!! If you don’t have friends like this, you need to get you some!! No, everyone is not on my team and YES, some shit has been going DOWN for the last few months! But guess what, between my Heavenly Father and my faithful few (friends & family) – I’m about to change the world – at least the part I live in! ❤️
Have things been upside down crazy for you recently?? Do you feel like you’re making decisions and no one is supporting you? Are you ready to make a change but need someone there to say they support it?!?? Well, here I am, telling you: you got this! You CAN do this!! Keep pushing, keep trying, keep praying! It doesn’t matter who doesn’t believe in you, do you believe in yourself? I believe in YOU!! Let’s chat about it!